We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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