Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
