is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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