I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
