I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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