i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
