Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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