I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Enjoy the penises
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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