you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
