you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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