my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she smelled like a LAN party
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
