hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She announced her abortion via fbk
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
