the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
