I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
