in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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