Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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