I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
