I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
