remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
