white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
