So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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