If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
