why didn't you poke me back
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
