More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
