He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
