Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
