its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
