you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
