wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
