she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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