I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
