I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
