This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
