Whod you bang
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
