I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
