This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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