How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
