TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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