Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
