Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
