I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
