Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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