I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
