i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
