are you so shy because you have an std?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
