trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
