im about as happy as oj after his trial
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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