a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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