I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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