i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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