Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
