He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
