He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
