if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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